Don’t Be Too Quick to Stir Someone Else’s Pot, Southern Plum Cake Creates Bond Between Friends

Earlier this week I was passive-aggressively called heartless, rude, and arrogant by a grandmother and her (adult) daughter. Their Facebook pity party began with what was a concise, grammatically correct response from me to a text message. In the swift, and still puzzling response to me, I thought at first it wasn’t even intended for me. It was almost as if her finger had already pounded out the hateful words and her finger was on the trigger before I even responded. And her mother, well it only took THREE minutes before she took to Facebook to (passive-aggressively) attempt to demean this HEARTLESS, RUDE, and ARROGANT person (me) and express her wishes about bad KARMA on this nasty person (me).

And you know what, it only took SECONDS for people to agree, comment, assess the situation which they knew nothing about, and help these two bullies stir their big, insecure, pot of disdain. Was it the swift and concise manner in which I responded? Or was it the proper grammar? In my experience as a communications professional, using phrases such as, “…as I was the one who…” can be perceived as being arrogant by circles of people who commonly use phrases like, “…ain’t no one told me.”

Anyway, I am trying to think positive thoughts and not let this hurt me, but who’s kidding? I’m not offended by these two women because they are the kind who gossip, talk about people behind their backs, complain about bullies but are ones themselves, and will tell you anything you want to know about someone’s personal lives – who’s sleeping with whose husband, who is battling depression, whatever you want to know. But when people you know innocently rally around your haters, it’s going to sting. I even thought about posting the word-for-word text conversation that led to this bitterness so that people would truly have the opportunity to judge, but I tend to be one who (not easily) refuses to lower myself to levels such as this. So I’ll just take this as a good reminder that we shouldn’t be too quick to help stir other’s pots of hatred. We never know what heartless, rude, arrogant people are behind their pitiful campaigns.

So instead, I came home and enjoyed a delicious piece of plum cake that my friend Tracey made for me last week. Here’s the positive story I want to share with you – Quite a few years ago, I met this crazy fun Southern girl. (She uses words like “commode” and “cellular unit.”) We instantly bonded when we realized that we had the same childhood love for a certain plum cake made with BABY FOOD. For reasons only he knows, God brings people (and sisters!) into your life who bring you joy and true, honest friendship. People who are constant cheerleaders for all your dreams, friends who can have thoughtful conversations that don’t include gossip and bad-mouthing others. People who will bake cake for you. Keep those friends.

Surround yourself with THOSE people.

Stir their pot of goodness until it runneth over.

Sweet wishes,


Plum Cake

Staci Mergenthal at Random Sweets
If you can't find plum baby food, use plum apple or a similar flavor.
No ratings yet
Prep Time 10 mins
Cook Time 1 hr
Total Time 1 hr 10 mins
Course Dessert
Cuisine American
Servings 12
Calories 370 kcal



  • 1 cup vegetable oil
  • 2 cups water
  • 3 eggs, large
  • 1 teaspoon pure vanilla extract
  • 2 teaspoons red food coloring
  • 8 oz plum baby food
  • 2 cups all-purpose flour
  • ½ teaspoon baking soda
  • 1 teaspoon ground cinnamon
  • 1 teaspoon ground cloves
  • teaspoon salt
  • 1 cup chopped pecans, or walnuts


  • 4 tablespoons unsalted butter
  • ¼ cup confectioners powdered sugar
  • 2 tablespoons milk
  • pinch of salt



  • Heat oven to 350°F.
  • Mix oil, sugar, and eggs. Add vanilla, food coloring, and plum baby food. Mix well.
  • Blend in dry ingredients. Stir in nuts.
  • Pour into a well-greased Bundt pan. Bake at 350°F for 1 hour or until cake tester comes out clean.
  • Let rest 10 minutes. Invert onto wire cooling rack and remove Bundt pan.


  • Simmer butter, sugar, milk, and salt for 3 minutes. Drizzle over cake while warm.


Calories: 370kcalCarbohydrates: 22gProtein: 5gFat: 30gSaturated Fat: 6gPolyunsaturated Fat: 13gMonounsaturated Fat: 9gTrans Fat: 0.3gCholesterol: 51mgSodium: 90mgPotassium: 112mgFiber: 2gSugar: 5gVitamin A: 251IUVitamin C: 2mgCalcium: 25mgIron: 1mg
Keyword Bundt cake

All text and images © Staci Mergenthal • Random Sweets

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  1. You are correct to focus on those who bring positivity into your life and not those who drain you! Even though it hurts when people talk badly about you and they have the FB rally cries behind them, just remember it’s FB which is 90% not real life! 🙂 And cake is always the answer in the good or bad times! 🙂

    1. You’re so funny Tamara! Cake kicks Facebook’s ass anyDAY! I left out the part that these two ladies are part of my extended family and that a few of the people who commented on FB are my friends but they didn’t even realize what the situation was. On to real life… 🙂

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